After I had Raylan, my hormones were running wild and crazy. Some days I was so happy and other days I was the pure devil. I took my anger and frustration out on my husband Justin. I found fault in everything he did. I felt like that he didn't care about me or Raylan. I'm ashamed to admit this but I was to the point that I was wanting a divorce. Looking back now, I realize that I was way out of line and I'm so thankful that I had a talk with Jesus. After some much needed prayer, It was like God spoke to me and told me to make a list.
I sat down and wrote two separate lists. The first list was of all the things that I wished Justin would change. As I stated writing, I felt pure anger. Now you can imagine just how long a list like this might be. I had written down every little pet peeve of his that irritated me. I just knew that I was going to have to file for Divorce. After all, how could I live with a man who got on my nerves this bad.
The next list was a list of all of his great qualities and why I love him.
This list was much longer than what the photo shows but you get the idea
As I began to write this list, the tears started flowing and couldn't stop. He had so many wonderful qualities that I had been overlooking. Once I finished this list, I realized that it was much longer that the list of his pet peeves. I was so ashamed. I asked God to forgive me and then I had to ask for Justin's forgiveness too. I had been acting so terrible toward him.
God showed me all of the reasons why I fell in love with Justin in the first place and what a wonderful man he was. This list made me realize that I had a wonderful husband and an amazing father to our son. God showed me what was important through this list.
Sure there are still days that my husband gets under my skin, what man doesn't lol? There are days that I just need reassurance. That's when I turn to God and pull this list back out as a reminder of our love.
I truly believe that God showed me this list to save my marriage. God is so good!
If you and your spouse are having troubles, hand them over to God. He will show you the way. Sit down and write a list like this and I guarantee you will see a big difference.
I thought I needed to change my husband, when in reality it was me that needed to change. God changed my way of thinking through this list and I am forever grateful.