Family Moments in A Distracted Age - Della Devoted

Family Moments in A Distracted Age

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If you are lucky enough to have a family of your own, you know of all the good things that come with it.
Having a family for some is to feel secure with the people around you, who you can count on, with who you can share your problems, who are there to spend their time with you and know you well enough to pick you up when you are down.

Sure, there are the usual spats and arguments with family, but a wise person once said that you only have these arguments because you love each other, and you care about each other. All in all, people will choose having a family over not having one.

A family is about support because no one really wants to be alone. We need others to support us our journeys through life. Whether you are going through a rough time, have troubles at work, or have been through a breakup, there is no one who could better support you other than your own family. Your family is always there to boost your self-esteem no matter how bad the situation is.

Not being alone also comes back to your moral values. A family is one of the first places where you learn what’s good and virtuous and what is bad. From being kind to showing gratitude, to helping others in their bad times. All of these are some of the examples of moral values which only a family can create.

In a lot of ways, even if we fight it, your family will determine who you are and who your children become. In most cases, when we vow not to become our parents, we turn out to be exactly that, a cookie cutter version of our parents.

So, a family is your support network, your moral compass, and the very essence of being you. And in a world where we seem to live in our mobile phones that are always on and connected to our extended networks, that slowly starts to blur, or so it seems. Who doesn't have examples of a family sitting around a table not engaging with each other but complete engrossed in their mobile phones?

So how do we go back to putting a family front and center again, without demanding all technology to be burned? How do you connect again as a family and take those moments to slow down and connect with each other? The answer to most of these questions is to create moments to put the focus back on the family.

The usual suspects are always the holidays when everyone has at least the time to spend together. The key is to make sure you use most of this time together. A good idea is to plan family walks, ideally to places where you know there is no phone coverage. Some would say you need to force people to hand in their technology, some would argue that stacking the deck is a better solution.

Besides the holidays, there are other things that seemed to have slipped away from families, such as family conversations. And these are not ones where you discuss each other’s day (although still very important), this is about those big subjects. This could be a big discussion about finances or health. Take the care for grandparents (or even great grandparents) for example, this should not be confined to just a parents' conversation, it should be something that affects and involves the whole family. The best way to get the entire family participating is by giving everyone a voice. Talking about care for the elderly, there is the other end of the spectrum, which is caring for the smallest ones. Pediatric care is a subject that could involve the family, see for more. It doesn't have to be healthcare or finances, though; it can be lighter subjects. The thing, however, about more serious subjects is that they give weight to a discussion and therefore the importance. Once you provide a family conversation that air of seriousness, those mobile phones will automatically disappear when one starts.

And that's what it's all about. Creating moments when everyone is together, perhaps even stacking the deck to prevent people from being distracted. Then making sure that there is either gravitas or tradition to the interaction. The gravitas can be brought by having serious family conversations, where everyone can have a say. Or you can create cultures that start outweighing fleeting moments. The key is that in the end, everyone can see something that is more important (i.e., a family moment) versus a fleeting one (i.e., liking a social media post).

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