Have you ever wondered how some people always seem to have a smile on their face? You wonder how they can be so cheerful and not easily bothered. I am one of those cheerful people even when life is hard.

 If you are close to me, then you already know that I have not had an easy life. I lost my mom to an 8 year battle with ovarian cancer when I was only 18. I was left to care for my dad who was not healthy at the time and my special needs brother.
Two years later, I was in a car wreck that broke my neck in 3 different places. The wreck easily could have taken my life or paralyzed me. I had to wear a neck brace for 3 months and then had to undergo physical therapy for 6 long months. I could easily have complained, but I knew that I was truly blessed that God chose to spare my life.
Fast Forward nine months from my car wreck, my family and I lost everything we had in a house fire right before Christmas. The house fire was very hard, but the hardest part was losing all but a few photos of my mom. During all of the stress of the house fire, our family was still truly blessed. We saw how good our church family and members of our community could be. They brought meals and clothes to our family. We were even blessed to stay in a hotel for free with the help of some wonderful people. When we finally got moved into our new home, people of the community blessed us with used furniture. Our church also blessed us with a household shower. Like I said, we were truly blessed.
Almost two years after the house fire, I was blessed to marry my high school sweetheart. After being married for a while, we decided to try for a child. We tried for 4 long and trying years to get pregnant. When we finally got pregnant, we were blessed to be pregnant with twins. However, sadly that ended with a heartbreaking miscarriage. This was by far the hardest thing I had ever been through. This was the trial that really tested my faith. I can remember laying in bed crying and begging God to heal my broken heart. I became really depressed and it almost took a toll on my marriage. I didn't even have the desire to go to church and that was not like me at all. The human in me was very angry!  However, I was blessed with some wonderful church ladies who didn't give up on me. They called me and they would pray with me. I was blessed with wonderful friends who got me out of the house and took me out to eat to get things off of my mind. I was blessed with my wonderful husband who didn't give up on our marriage. My husband was hurting too, but I was too selfish to see what this had done to him. However, he stood by my side and never gave up on us.  I was most definitely blessed by an almighty loving God who never left me during any of this. He was right there by my side the whole time still loving me unconditionally despite my anger. How blessed are we to have such a loving God who never leaves us!
About 5 months after the miscarriage, God blessed my husband and I to get pregnant with our Rainbow baby. We were blessed with a fairly healthy pregnancy up until the third trimester. I then developed pre-eclampsia. Our son had to be delivered two weeks early due to me having high blood pressure and swelling from the pre-eclampsia. We were blessed with a healthy 7lb 3oz beautiful baby boy. God was so good and faithful during all of this. God gave me the desires of my heart and blessed my husband and I with our wonderful son who is now 6.
About a year after my son was born, my dad's health started declining. He started developing kidney failure due to high blood pressure and diabetes. Testing his kidney function went on for about a year and then he was placed on Kidney Dialysis. He has been on dialysis for 4 years and is still currently on dialysis. During this time, my dad's health has declined rapidly. When he first started dialysis, he could walk good now he can no longer walk. Over a period of time, he has lost a lot of muscle function and now has to rely on a wheelchair. My dad also had colon cancer several years ago and they had to remove 30 percent of his colon.  Life has not been easy for my dad, but he still keeps a smile on his face just like I do. That's because we know our help comes from God.
Last year, I was diagnosed with anxiety.  I could no longer take the living in fear and heaviness in my chest. My chest would hurt almost everyday.  Even on the days when I had nothing to be anxious about, I still felt terrible. Everyday, I was miserable and so stressed out. I honestly thought that I was having a heart attack.  It's crazy how anxiety can do so many things to your body. I finally had to give in and talk to my doctor. I held off as long as I could for fear or not being able to control things myself and for fear of what people would think about me. I prayed and prayed about it, and I know within my heart that anxiety medicine was the right decision to make. I'm so thankful that God gives our doctors the knowledge to be able to help us.
Now we are currently dealing with COVID-19 and my what a scary and stressful time this has been for everyone and us included. The social distancing is hard and my husband and I both being laid off is hard. Church closings, school closings, park closings and everything else closing is hard. The most scary thing is fear of our loved ones or ourselves getting sick, but we are trusting God that all of these precautions that we are taking will be enough to keep us all safe. We know that God will see us all through this very trying time.
You see, life has definitely not been a bed of roses.  It has certainly not been easy. It has been just plain hard! However, God has been so good to me and my family through it all. God has never left my side and there has never been a problem that I have had to face alone. God didn't promise an easy or perfect life. If he had, then we would have nothing to look forward to. If life was perfect here on earth, then we wouldn't have the desire to go to heaven. However, God promises to be with us throughout this journey called life. He's always with us through the highs and lows. No matter what season of life we are in, God is always working out things for the good of those who love him. I can't even imagine how perfect and beautiful heaven will be. It's going to be wonderful! I look forward to the day that I can meet my sweet Jesus face to face.